Bren's Story
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Updated: 8:49 PM Jun 5, 2008
Bren's Story
The story of one woman who says she can't afford to be silent any longer.
Posted: 6:05 PM Jun 5, 2008
Reporter: Neysa Wilkins
Email Address: neysa.wilkins@wjhg.com

The Thought of Suicide
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Brenda Adkins, better known as Bren, has a bright smile for her customers, and when she gets a chance to talk about her children that smile gets even bigger.

Brenda Adkins said, "I think they were the brightest, most wonderful, fabulous children that ever lived."

But behind that smile is the hurt and pain of Bren's loss.

"Both of my children died from suicide."

Jason and rick were twins. They did just about everything together.

"They both graduated first in their class at Troy University, they were athletic lettermen, they were academic lettermen, they were named who's who, they were brilliant."

Jason was 25 when he took his own life in 2000. Rick killed himself two years later, eight days after his 28th birthday.

Jason told me about two months before he ended his life that he was going to, but then he disappeared and I didn't know where he was and I couldn't stop him, and his twin brother, unfortunately, did let a lot of people know that he was going to kill himself and they made no effort to help him, no effort to prevent it whatsoever.”

When someone who seemingly has the world in their palm commits suicide, the first question is usually why. Rick took his life after his fiancee broke up with him a month before their wedding.

"He didn't want to die’ he just didn't want to hurt anymore.”

In Jason's case, Bren says he got mixed up with cocaine.

"I know how much pain I'm in and I wouldn't wish that pain that I feel every day on anyone, but how much more did my sons hurt if the only way they saw to stop hurting was to end their life?"

Even though they're gone, Bren still draws inspiration from her sons.

"I was very, very blessed to be their mother. That was my gift. They always thought I was strong and smart and beautiful and courageous. I have no choice but to be who they thought I was."

So she shares her story with other parents, hoping to help them avoid the same heartache and tragedy.

"There's so much stigma attached to mental illness and suicide that shouldn't be there. The person who is mentally ill doesn't get up in the morning and say, ‘hey, Mr. God, can I please be mentally ill today?’ It's an illness and it's treatable."

Bren never fully realized the dreams and aspirations she had for her sons in life, so she's hoping others will draw knowledge and strength in their deaths.

"They told me a long time ago that they were going to make a difference in the world. Their voices have been silenced, but mine hasn't, so as long as I can speak then I will do it for them, because no one should have to live my lifemate."

Bren takes part in a 20 mile walk every year to help raise money for suicide prevention. It's called Out of the Darkness Overnight, because they start at sunset and end at sunrise.

This year the walk is being held in New York City, and Bren is the keynote speaker. It's actually this Saturday.

She admits she's a little nervous about speaking in front of 15,000 or more people, but is anxious for people to hear the message.

If you'd like more information on suicide prevention or the walk this weekend, you can log onto Bren's website at www.runningwiththewind.com.


Latest Comments

Posted by: Kathy Location: Arizona on Jun 12, 2008 at 06:51 PM

Bren, I love you. Keep up the good work my friend. It's all worth it. No matter what any one tells you.
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Posted by: Donna Location: Destin on Jun 5, 2008 at 11:17 PM

Bren, Words fail me... the pain of losing a child is more than must of us can handle. Bless you for taking a step forward and speaking up. Your boys would be proud. Losing a child is not in the natural order... and the pain it brings is devastating. We do the best we can. You are doing even more! Peace to you and good luck in NY
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Posted by: Joyce Location: Minnesota on Jun 5, 2008 at 07:37 PM

Bren, I have forwarded this articile to my niece who lost her 15 year old son to suicide last year. I know it will help her. God is with you always, Bren.
[ Report Abuse ]
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